Incoherent

i am a shaddow of myself. my mind and soul somewhere else. floating somewhere far from here. i have no awareness anymore. no realisation.
do i exist?
my mind plays tricks on me, making me think thoughts to hide other thoughts. to hide emotions i am unwilling to feel.
i dont have time to think, or feel. i am running on autopilot, and an inefficient one at that.
i am switched off.
i no longer sense time. a long night's sleep is a blink.
i no longer feel taste, food is a vitality and a process. no longer enjoyed.
i do not understand what or why i feel what i feel. i do not know what to do about it. i am not used to being that detached from myself.
i long for reconnecting my body with my soul.
i long for exsistance.